Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
