i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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