So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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