4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just invented taco cereal.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
