Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
