Im at strip club and am horny
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
