White coat. Heels.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
