Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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