I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
