I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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