So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
