Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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