i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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