my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
