I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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