I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
