It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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