Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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