dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize