You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
