Can Purell be used as lube?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
