There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize