There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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