i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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