I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pants are for mortals
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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