No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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