Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
