is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
