someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
