I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
