never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
