At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
