he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
