her vagine was all disorganized.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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