There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
