Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
