Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
