is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
