Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
