I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
