It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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