My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
