I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
