He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
