There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
