You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
