we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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