I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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