Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
