Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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