I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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