you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's never too late to be topless.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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