how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
