how can u be prego again
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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