"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
