He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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