I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
