She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
