when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
