Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
did i just pee glitter
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize