it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
