its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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