why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
