you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
