I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
