You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are two peas in an std pod
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
