just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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