He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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