i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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