so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
